then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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