He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
