on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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