dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
