he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Randomize
