Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Randomize