I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Randomize
