she looked like the before picture.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I cut my penus on the lid.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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