Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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