you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Randomize
