why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
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