In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
