I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Randomize
