my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
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