can u get pink eye on your cock?
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
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