census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
