Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
this hospital has no fireball
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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