I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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