Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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