i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
