Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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