No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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