i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
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