You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
