chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Randomize
