operation harelip BJ is a go
and she was petting her beer can
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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