someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Randomize
