What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Two words: nipple clamps
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