I think I just saw someone hide a body.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize