This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Randomize
