We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Randomize
