My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
