she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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