I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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