Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
