I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
God, I missed his penis.
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