Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Randomize
