hell yes lets make some ravioli
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
