this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I have tasted many bathrooms
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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