I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Randomize
