First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Randomize
