My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
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