im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
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