its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
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