i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Randomize
