im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Randomize
