Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
