Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
