Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I smell stomach acid.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
It's blow job season.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Randomize
