I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Randomize
