i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
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