Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
no, he came in my armpit
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
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