Where did you get a picture of my penis
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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