people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
operation harelip BJ is a go
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
