I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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