This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I FOUND THE LEGS
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Randomize