Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Randomize
