Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize
