Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
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