Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
