just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
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