that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
