That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize