Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Randomize
